∆ change + pushing play ∆

hello, blog:

it’s been a while.
a month+ it looks like, and oh what a month it has been.
lots of change and adjustment happening around here.

it’s been interesting, long, exciting and busy but not.

when we left for our asia adventure, a lot of people would say stuff like,
“it’s going to change you.” we’d just smile and say, “you never know… we’ll see.”
neither of us set out with grandiose plans to be enlightened or come back any different.
and while we were on our adventure, we got used to the new normal & seemed to feel just the same.
and then we got home.

i immediately sank into a very melancholy state.
i guess it would be fair to say that i was grieving the end of it all.
not necessary “changed,” but just plain sad.
people would say, “wow, what a trip of a lifetime,” and i’d want to punch them.
i feel like an asshole saying it, but it better be one of my trips of my lifetime.
and don’t you dare say, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

so i dove back into my job and tried to redirect focus on real life, but it didn’t subside.
between battling anxiety induced insomnia and a general state of blue, i didn’t feel myself so
quite honestly, documenting life didn’t interest me at all and the blog fell way down the list.

but while i was moping around and avoiding contact without the outside world,
danny dove right back into routines and household tasks.
he kept himself super busy and immediately went back to the job we returned to the USA for.

and that’s about when the real evidence of change started to come to light.
just a couple days into the job, danny started to feel different about everything.
the things that he so loved about his job just six months before – stability, routine, familiar faces – were no longer comforting.
for six months he’d experience, survived and thrived in total unknowns.
he came home one day and pulled up the photo we took on New Year’s Eve curbside at LAX and said,
“i want to feel like this more – scared, excited and not exactly sure what to expect. because you know what? it’ll all work out. we just proved that the unknown can be the best ride of them all.”

and that’s when i knew he’d changed.
to hear my pragmatic and calculated husband throwing stability to the wind was shocking yet refreshing.
the reason we did six months vs. a year was because of danny’s career and financial forecasting.
and then, with it all back in his control, he was physically, emotionally and mentally rejecting it.

a couple of weeks later and without any real solid plan,
danny told his boss that he’d be leaving (again), but this time for good.
as to be expected, the transition was a little odd. a unique situation for everyone.
definitely not anything danny saw coming, but i couldn’t be more proud of him
for running towards a new approach vs. taking the easy way out.
it’s been almost a month since danny’s last day on the job and i’m married to a new man.

he’s officially on his own serving as a real estate consultant on a handful of developments,
and exploring a couple other entrepreneurial ideas and passion projects.
this past month, we’ve actually had to battle for dinner conversation. imagine that!
he’s excited about his work. about the flexible format. the control over his time.
he’s thriving meeting new people, expanding his network and pushing harder than ever.
it was scary, but it’s already proved to be the right decision.

it’s been an adjustment for us, but a fun one.
… especially for huntie who is beyond stoked to have dad around.

on top of that, here’s a look at what else has been going on.

:: we had the interior of our home painted to freshen things up. i’m happy.
:: i blew out 31 candles on the cake – and made a wanderlust wish.
:: danny got a new car (which he already doesn’t love). surprise surprise.
:: we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary with a staycation at the arizona biltmore.
:: we gased up the prius and headed to hollywood for a labor day wedding extravaganza.
:: i’m learning to adjust to the ups ‘n downs of my new role (but loving it!)
:: hunter is crushing life & dominating the neighborhood on his nightly walks.
:: danny finally mastered the art of grilling chicken which means we eat thai gai yang 3x week.
:: we both cut our hair. an angled ombre lob & middle part for me, short wave for him.
:: i went to vegas for a professional branding conference, put $100 red and hit it. boom.

… just the other night, i looked at danny and told him i finally missed my creative outlet (le blog). my time alone with my thoughts. to reflect. to appreciate the awesome life we have. i’m back.

carlye, this is for you girl.
and hi meme – yes, we’re alive. xoxo